My blog is titled “The Challenge to be Better” and it seems appropriate considering the professional changes that I have recently been undertaking. The last week of my career has been absolutely mind-blowing. However, before I discuss these pedagogy-shifting changes, I would like to give a little “prologue”, if for no other reason than to be honest with myself about my past teaching practice and pedagogy.
This year I was bored. Bored and comfortable. I had been at WHS for two years and finally received the “holy grail” of teaching at the end of last year: a continuous contract. However, as I started this year it became apparent that, although I was now “secure” in my job, I was no longer happy. I found myself being pulled in many directions (mentorship, AFL, Positive Behavior programming, and RTI). I am not opposed to any of the above initiatives, practices and policies. In fact I have seen the benefits in all of them. The problem for me lied in the belief that I had to “do” all of them and demonstrate a “mastery” of them at the same time.
By December of this year I was jaded, disengaged and actually heard myself say aloud: “I hate my job”. (Yes- I am fully aware of how that sounds- and even more aware of how it feels to wake up and hate going to work). This was incredibly upsetting for me, because despite the pitfalls, policies, and bureaucracy that sometimes comes with teaching, I had always been able to say with conviction: “I love my job”.
To say that I was a good educator during this time would be a lie. I closed my classroom door, closed my mind, and hoped the “hate” would pass. I was upset with myself for “giving in” to the system that I had repeatedly been told burns out teachers within the first five years. I felt lost, tired and believed I had nothing left to offer to “my kids”.
By February I had decided that no amount of “closing myself off” was going to make me love my job again, and it certainly was not going to make me a better educator for my kids. Teachers convention came along at this very pivotal time. I had resolved myself to the fact that I was going to try something new and go to sessions that might not be “English Language Arts” centered. I wanted to use more technology in my classroom, however, I was absolutely unaware of what was out there, what my district would allow me to use, and what I could actually learn and implement.
The session I chose to go to was led by Alec Couros and to be completely honest, I still have no idea what it was titled. I remember reading the “very brief” session description, which mentioned 21st century learning and technology tools for the classroom. BOOM. Done. I entered the session as an educator totally bored and left an educator full of questions, challenges, and a willingness to LEARN AGAIN. I went back to hotel room, downloaded the twitter app and set up a twitter name for myself. I had absolutely no idea what I was doing… LESSON #1: twitter- not facebook. I was lost with the # and @ symbols everywhere, but what I realized very early on was that if I clicked on a link @courosa posted I was connected to a blog, a video, or even a news article that had to do with education.
For the next two months I would describe myself as “a quiet twitterer”. I had no followers, which was ok, because for the first time in a long time, I was learning. I was reading about other educators struggles and successes, I was watching TED/TEDEd videos like they were going out of style and realizing that other educators were using technology in ways I had never even dreamed of.
Sometime in April I read a twitter post about a conference called ConnectEd, the first “networking” conference of its kind in Canada. I retweeted it, because I wanted to remember to check it out. Prior to this I hadn’t been interested in participating in anymore pd, as I was burnt out in terms of policies, programs, and new initiatives. That night, however, I went back to that tweet, clicked on the link and read about the conference. 21st century learning and networking… My interest was piqued and I paid closer attention to any tweets regarding this “ConnectEd” conference. Little did I know that ConnectEd would not only keep my attention, but cause me to pause, reflect, and change my thought process in an attempt to be better.
Matt Armstrong (@ArmstrongYYC) said:
An awesome first post, loved the honesty. I agree that there has to be no better feeling than being professionally invigorated. ConnectED came at the right time of year and has me not only looking to next year but this final month.
rozgoldsmith said:
I couldn’t agree more- I’m so looking forward to next year- new found energy!
Alec Couros said:
Wow. Thanks for the taking the leap with this blog post and for deciding to share so openly. The process that you have outlined here couldn’t have occurred had you not taken the initiative to truly position yourself as a learner, and that’s what is so transformative about what’s happening to many teachers using the tools of social media and connecting in virtual and f2f spaces (like ConnectedEd).
I’ve subscribed to your blog and I’m looking forward to connecting with you along the way.
rozgoldsmith said:
Thank you for reading my ramblings. I needed to start the blog with an understanding of where I had been and why I was doing this.
swclark said:
Great opening post. Honest and from the heart! Your new found enthusiasm has shone through since ConnectEdca. Nice one! Isn’t it great to be so into something and connect with so many other people with a similar outlook? I missed out on ConnectEd but will be there next year for sure!
rozgoldsmith said:
It was absolutely amazing to finally be in a room (connectedCA) with people who had similar beliefs and ideas. I was SO SAD to leave! Looking forward to 2013- make sure to be there- best experience ever!!
thesmalleroffice said:
Bravo- your post reminded me of the many talks I’ve had with early-career teachers over the years- as a mentor, coach and now administrator. So often, we begin our careers filled with optimism and hope, only to see it peter out, or be stolen, by a culture of isolation and completion. Your decision to seek newer ideas and to persevere to create a network is admirable.
I’m glad that ConnectEd was supportive of your growth; the future of teaching and learning lies in us continuing to connect, using as many tools and ways as we can. I look forward to learning along with you through your tweets and blogs:)
Brian
rozgoldsmith said:
Thank you Brian! I’m looking forward to this journey of learning.
Tom Fullerton said:
So impressed with how openly you share the story of your practice here Roz. Your willingness to be vulnerable ( see http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html ), to share the personal as well as the professional side of your practice dovetails so nicely with what I was trying to explore and unpack in my session at #connectedca. We understand and improve our practice as we understand our selves. So glad that I could support you on your journey.
You’re exploring twitter, wordpress and skype and their implications on teaching and learning, but I think the real impact results from the connections you’ve made and will make using these technologies. Something we spoke about at connectedca: Culture matters, collaboration matters, community matters. You matter.
Looking forward to continuing the discussion.
rozgoldsmith said:
Thank you for that response and especially for sharing that TED vid with me- amazing!!
Aaron Akune said:
Great first post. Thanks for sharing so openly and honestly. My experience getting ‘connected’ through twitter was much the same as yours. Sign up, lurk, read lots of posts, watch lots of videos and then a breakthrough day at TedxUBC where I saw the tweets flying on the backchannel. And then a subsequent experience at Edcamp Vancouver where the backchannel was flooded with comments and links to resources people were sharing.
Since then, I’ve sworn to the importance of connecting. I admit there was something even more inspiring about the ConnectED Canada experience though. Maybe it was the visits to classrooms on Friday, maybe it was the two days of sessions that allowed for more ongoing conversations, maybe it was the conversations during lunches and dinners. Or quite likely it was a combination of all three factors. At any rate, like you, I have left ConnectED inspired and up for the challenge knowing that I have an expanded network of educators who I can call on for advice, support, constructive criticism and can call friends in my learning journey!
Aaron
T. Henriksen said:
Congratulations on being vulnerable, willing to take risks, being a real learner. It is only then can we truly develop and learn how to impact those whom we teach. Good for you for seeing that you needed a change and tried something new when you attended Alec’s session. (Isn’t he great? – truly inspirational).
Last July, I felt very similar to the way you were feeling in February. The difference was, I was returning to work from a 6 month maternity leave and trying desperately to get my “head back in the game”. I needed inspiration. I craved engagement. I wanted connections. So, like you, I started on Twitter. It was then that I learned a great deal about the wonderful people who are always willing to help. Shortly after joining Twitter, I learned about the Reform Symposium (RSCON3). It is an online conference (FREE) that occurred over a weekend. It was fabulous! Inspirational! Invigorating! I think I had a similar feeling back then, as you did by learning about ConnectedCA. You might want to check out RSCON4 this summer (if there is one, which I sure hope there is).
Congratulations on your new-found enthusiasm, energy, and commitment to learning. Doesn’t it feel great?
I look forward to hearing about your journey!
Tia
Anonymous said:
Hi Tia,
Thanks for reading my reflection! To answer your question, yes, I feel so great about a new journey centered on learning. Thank you for the tip on RSCON3, I will most definitely check that out!
I look forward to sharing our learning experiences together!
Roz
Dave Truss said:
…And now a new journey! 6 years into it, I can tell you that blogging is the best Pro-D that I’ve ever done! With a willingness to be so honest about your practice, I can only say, “Oh, the places you’ll go!”
~Dave